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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984205">Worthy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe_Snow/pseuds/Phoebe_Snow'>Phoebe_Snow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Perfection Never Looked So Good [55]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, I ship Steve and Natasha with happiness and each other, Imagine your OTP, Male-Female Friendship, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:15:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984205</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe_Snow/pseuds/Phoebe_Snow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>After one of the worst days of her life, Natasha comes to a startling realization about trust and her feelings for Steve Rogers.</em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Perfection Never Looked So Good [55]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/811944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Worthy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea was inspired from a great TWS deleted scene between Natasha and Nick. It was a wonderful moment for her character development and I think leaving it on the cutting room floor was a bad decision. I wondered what she did after they spoke and of course, being a Romanogers shipper, I couldn’t resist adding extra Steve and Nat interaction to the story. Enjoy!🌹</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p>Natasha's head lie on the pillow beneath her, but she couldn’t get any sleep. She kept replaying that moment when she stood in the hospital, watching Nick die. The pain she felt had been so acute. Nick was her mentor when she first joined SHIELD and even though she was careful not to allow her personal feelings to affect her too strongly, she saw him as a father figure.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That’s why it hurt when Maria brought them to their hideout and Nick was alive and injured, lying on a hospital bed. Normally, Natasha had perfect control of the facial expressions she wore, but this time, the disappointment was evident on her features. After Steve informed Nick about HYDRA being hidden in SHIELD and of his intentions to expose and tear them down, they’d all dispersed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The voice of her partner pulled her out of her thoughts and she turned to look at him, a small smile appearing on her face. "Hey."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I brought you this." Steve came closer to the bed and held up a military mre. "Maria figured you’d be hungry."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He placed the brown pack and a bottle of distilled drinking water on the bed. Natasha hummed to herself as she sat up. "She thought right. Does this have any peanut butter?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah, I checked the menus online before picking it out for you. It's got peanut butter - the non-chunky kind - and snack bread for you to spread it on."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The redhead smirked and pulled open the bag. "You are a king among men." Her face lit up when she saw the snack bread and peanut butter packets. As she got her food prepared, he watched her closely.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I still don’t understand how you can eat plain peanut butter sandwiches without bananas on the bread."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I’m surprised you can’t eat plain peanut butter sandwiches, mister 'I grew up in the depression back when we had to boil everything.'"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Steve rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. "What can I say? I never liked peanut butter, especially the chunky kind." He made a face of disgust.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Okay, we can agree on that. It's the worst and when you have to use the bathroom, it feels like tiny pins are coming out of your ass."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Steve covered his face with his hand, shoulders shaking as he laughed. "That’s a bad image."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey, <em>you</em> mentioned the chunky peanut butter, not me." She chuckled and took a bite of her makeshift sandwich.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You gonna eat those cranberries?" </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No way. I hated dried fruit." She wrinkled her nose, but picked up the tiny bag and tossed it to Steve. "Waste not, want not."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thanks." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying their food, but Natasha knew something was on Steve's mind. There was a pensive look on his face that she’d seen many times before when he wanted to ask her something personal.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Back when they first became partners, she dedicated a considerable amount of time to helping him catch up with culture and the technological achievements that happened while he was in the ice. As always, she kept her walls up, but there’d been several times when she let her guard down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Steve was very down to earth and it tended to rub off on people who were around him, making them relax in his presence. So they often shared deep conversations during and after missions or when she helped him with his century adjustment. They were good friends at this point, but after yesterday, they’d crossed a threshold she hadn’t expected them to.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they were alone together in Sam's house, Natasha allowed herself to be vulnerable with Steve about how lost she felt since she'd been working for HYDRA all the years she was with SHIELD. For the first time in her life, she was unsure of what her next move would be.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In that moment, even after she'd kept her side mission from him, he supported her. When she asked him if he would trust her if his life was in her hands, and he said "I would now," it touched her heart. For a second, all she did was stare at him in shock.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then her training took over and she made a quip to change the emotionally raw atmosphere into a lighthearted one. Emotions would have only created more problems at the time and they were being hunted by HYDRA, so she forced herself to put on a mask. Maybe Steve noticed. The longer he worked with her, the better he became at ascertaining when she wasn’t being herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the Red Room, she’d be considered a failure for allowing someone to get a read on her, but he was the one person she wanted to see her as she truly was. Hell, she <em>needed</em> it. Becoming emotionally involved with anyone was dangerous, but in Steve's presence, the only thing Natasha could feel was safety.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No one knew it, but over time, she’d begun to develop feelings for Steve. It happened slowly over the past two years that they’d been partners and Avengers. He was an excellent leader, but when it came to women, he was on the clueless side. Whenever she flirted with him, he didn’t blush or get flustered because he knew was the image she liked to project.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Steve knew there was more to his partner than what she let people see. He’d been privileged to get glimpses into her personality and witness the little quirks that were definitely not fake. Right now, her emotions were on display and he was certain that it had to do with finding Nick alive.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The soldier sat down next to her on the bed, thankfully pulling her out of her musing. "Nat...when we saw Nick, there was this look on your face. You were hurt that he didn’t keep you in the loop?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She bit off another piece of her bread and nodded. "I really thought he died in the hospital. Hm. I even shed a few tears over it, which is ridiculous since the whole thing was a ploy. I should’ve known that from the beginning, but guess I got blindsided by my emotions."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Everyone experiences that from time to time," he reasoned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Not me. I always have to be in control and I usually am, but after everything we’ve been through recently...it’s a little harder than I’m used to."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don’t have to put a mask on when you're with me." Steve's voice was soft and comforting. His strong hand touched her shoulder and she closed her eyes briefly, savoring the warmth that she felt from his nearness. His solidarity made it easier for her to continue.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know and I’m glad for that." She sent him a small smile before she spoke again. "I talked to Nick earlier. I was looking at helicarrier schematics on the computer and he gave me the photostatic veil for tomorrow. Back at the hospital, I thought he was dead, and I told him that. You know what his response was? That I would’ve done the same thing and he was right."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Natasha closed her eyes. Her next words echoed her earlier conversation with Steve in the truck. "It may be a good way not to die, but it really <em>is</em> a tough way to live...lying to people, playing a role, not letting them see who you really are. Someone watches a Bond film and they think being a spy is glamorous, but that's a lie. It's one of the worst jobs you could ever have."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have no loyalties, save to your employer and your country, but you're expendable if you fail because the mission always comes first. It’s impossible to put down roots and fall in love with someone unless you’re with another spy. Even then it’s a bad idea because why would you want to be with someone in the same line of work as you when there’s a good chance they might not come home?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"A spy can’t have a social or family life. It’s just not doable." She wiped at the corner of her eye, fighting back the onslaught of tears that threatened to emerge. It wasn’t like her to get weepy, but she was tired and weak from her wound and still a little bitter towards Nick.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ordinarily, she’d feel embarrassed for revealing so much of her feelings to another person, not to mention crying in front of them, but Steve wasn’t just anyone. He was her friend, her partner and after the intimate moment they shared in Sam's house together, she knew she’d never feel uncomfortable sharing these kind of personal thoughts with him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Steve cupped her chin in his hand, his blue eyes were piercing as he gazed into her green ones. "That’s not true. You have the Avengers and you have me. Sure, you may not be very social because of the career you have, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone. You’re <em>never</em> alone, Nat."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her eyes went downcast and her mouth trembled. His thumb brushed against her lower lip, tracing the fullness of it in a slow pace. Natasha knew that he was comforting her, but his proximity made her aware of each breath he took and how close his mouth was.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It’s...not easy to believe that." Her words came out in a whisper and she licked her lips.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know. Nick didn’t trust you with his plan because he had to keep the number of people who knew about it to a small group. Why wouldn’t that bother you, even if it was the 'logical' thing for a spy to do? You’re allowed to be human, to be Natasha Romanoff, not just The Black Widow. No one would judge you for feeling something. The fact that it bothers you is a sign that you’re growing."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Natasha's lips curled up into a tiny smile. "Only you would know how to tell me it’s okay to brood and cheer me up at the same time."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What can I say? It’s a gift." He smiled at her and placed a gentle peck to her forehead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was an unexpected kiss and she found herself frowning a little because he hadn’t kissed her on the lips instead. The fact that he actually kissed her of his own volition was surprising and she could’ve just written it off as a kind gesture, but she sensed it was more than that. She'd seen him sending her longing gazes at times.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Something wrong?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You kissed me." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Really clever reply, Natasha. He was there too.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His cheeks reddened slightly and he angled his body away from hers, concern shone in his gaze. "I'm sorry."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She waved her hand quickly to dissuade him from apologizing further. The last thing she wanted him to do was feel guilty about an innocent forehead kiss. "No. It was nice. It’s just...no one has ever kissed me like that, like they care."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Understanding dawned on him and he nodded, moving to her side again. His eyes were full of affection as he replied, "I do."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you." Natasha sighed and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He returned the sentiment and slid his hands to her back, smoothing circles against the fabric of her shirt. There was so much she wanted to say to him about the feelings that had been building up inside of her for so long, but she couldn’t find the words. For now, a hug would have to do.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Tomorrow, she'd tell him everything.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Drop by my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/greenfleeze">tumblr</a> or <a href="http://instagram.com/first.lady.romanogers">instagram</a> and say hi!💞</p></blockquote></div></div>
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